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Identifying the No-Win Shit-uation


While running errands and checking tasks off of my things to-do list, I decided to browse a local bookstore on Melrose Avenue. While perusing books I noticed a sign that read, “Numerology Readings Today,” so I signed up. To my surprise my session was focused on my need to set clear, healthy boundaries.

The numerologist explained my boundary issues began in childhood based on severe dramas and that I had internalized these issues into a pattern he termed the, “Beaver Cleaver Syndrome.” He said I worked tirelessly to be, “the good kid,” behaving and not pushing back against authority. I did this with the internal hope of avoiding confrontation, keeping the peace, and having to never say the dreaded, “N-O” word to anyone.

The bad news was, I always had trouble setting boundaries with others. Based on my digits, the numerologist said, I could overcome these issues when I stopped saying yes to people who did not have my best interest at heart. I left the session inspired and walked to the Elixir Café.


The short walk organized my thoughts and new perspective. Once inside the café I ordered an iced tea and began writing. I realized the first place we must establish healthy boundaries is within ourselves. As Eckart Tolle says, “Get the inside right, and the outside will take care of itself.”

Our inner thoughts create our outer realities. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to our inner dialogue and clean it up with positive self-talk. Humans habitually loop negative thoughts in their brains all day long. These negative seedlings sprout during our childhood and can grow as strong as a redwood forest in our golden years.

Today I deliberately think more positive thoughts than ever before, BUT I still have an occasional negative thought sneak in. The difference today is that I no longer accept the negative beliefs as my inner truth. Now, when a negative thought drops into my brain I see it as an unintended misstep and quickly flip on the positive-feeling-thought-switch, which transforms it into something light and lovely.


For years, I bought into beliefs that I wasn’t good enough to have an enriched life without killing myself to get it. It took time to fill my mind with consistent loving thoughts before I felt the negative beliefs leaving my consciousness, but it was worth the practice.

The exact moment I started saying, “yes” to indulging in loving self-talk I began to feel lighter and I created a mental game that reminded me to take the high road. I call it, “The Fabulous 5 for 1 Game.”

Here’s the formula. As I experience one negative thought, I counteract it with five positive thoughts that make me feel good. By the fifth positive thought my heart feels lighter. I know this idea sounds simple, but it really works.

You’ve heard the old expression, “One step forward, two steps back?” This game is equivalent to one step back and four amazing steps forward! I suggest practicing this exercise when you’re inspired to do so.


When people you love ask for advice about serious issues you don’t belittle them with a rampage of negativity. You don’t call them names or accuse them of being stupid, do you? So, why do you say bad things about you, to you – all day – everyday – repeatedly?

The answer is, habit. We habitually repeat negative beliefs about ourselves, to ourselves. This severe double speak creates the worst kind of No-Win-Shit-uation™ imaginable. I know because I grew up doing it, not understanding at the time that nothing good can come from crappy thoughts. It. Can’t. Happen.

A No-Win Shit-uation™ is likened to driving an amazing sports car 80 MPH on the freeway with its emergency-brake pulled all the way up. Eventually you’ll ruin the brakes and tires, burn the motor out and never reach your intended destination.

Have you wondered how it is that we have endless volumes of love available to the world, BUT we don’t use it to nurture ourselves first? Alan Cohen says, “You can be helping many people…if you are not helping yourself, you have missed the one person you were born to heal.”

During our formative years our belief systems were solidified based on what we saw, heard and felt. While pulled further away from the purity of our inner guidance system as children, we lost trust in ourselves and put our needs last while pleasing authority figures around us.


I invite you to Soul-ebrate™ your personal magnificence. Establish healthy boundaries and “play it up” with the Fabulous 5 for 1 Game. When you choose to stand in the spotlight of your soul you don’t have to worry about setting boundaries as much as, staying open to receive the greatness the universe has in store for you.

Plus, each new-found boundary established uplifts you, people you love, and the world at large. And, if each new boundary is created from a vibration of love, how can you possibly go wrong? 

In closing, I encourage you to allow more appreciation into your heart. Stand in the healing power of your soul-self. Allow your light to shine within you and on you! Because us spiritual people need to set loving boundaries in order to achieve the continued happiness and healing we desire. And that my friend, is the easiest way to turn those No-Win Shit-uations™ into fantastic Win-Win Soul-ebrations™.

And, until next time, remember to keep your thoughts, feelings, and frequencies high, fast, and pure so that you can Unlock the Universe Within.

With Appreciation Always,


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